Blast From The Past - Twas The Night Before Conquest

[Latin Wolf]

http://home.earthlink.net/~latinwolf7/xmas112.html

Twas The Night Before Conquest

As Posted by Randall Newcomb


Subject: Twas the Night Before Conquest
From: ***@gateway.com
Date: 1997/12/16

Newsgroups: alt.guinea.pig.conspiracy




"Twas the night before conquest when all through the house
Every cavy was stirring, though quiet as a mouse
The plutonium was stowed under the shavings with care
For the Galaxian Council soon would be there.

The humans were nestled all snug in their beds,
Unaware of the guinea pig inspired dread.
And mom in her kerchief and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a mid-solstice nap.

When out of the cages arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
The ammonia clouds rose up, and then came a flash.
Their biological weapons soon caused me to gasp
The glow of the mother-ship on the fresh-fallen snow,
Gave a nuclear luster to objects below.

When, what to my watering eyes should appear,
But Reggie (the veggie) in full combat gear
With an ancient old cavy, so lively and quick,
I knew what was happening. It was making me sick.

More rapid then eagles the onslaught it came
They whistled and wheeped and took control of my brain.
Now agoutis, and short-haired, and silky satins
Wavy rexes and shelties, Abyssinian assassins.
To the top of the cage, to the neighborhood mall
Now conquer the humans and send out the call!

As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly,
Our minds were no match, our brains would just fry.
Through phone lines and internet the great wheeping grew
We tried to resist - but what could we do?

And then with a rumble, I heard through the door
It was Reggie (the veggie) the most ancient of boars
As I drew back in fright and crouched close to the ground
Down the hallway the guinea pigs came with a bound

They were covered with fur from their heads to their feet
And, with parsley-scented breath, demanded something to eat.
I cast down a handful of Timothy Hay
And shook plastic bags to keep them at bay.
They drew back bewildered and for a moment did tarry.
Was this my escape from these overlords, hairy?
I got ready to run from the Galaxian glow
But there were so many, there was nowhere to go.

A stump of alfalfa Reggie held in his teeth,
The nuclear glow encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a red furry face and a little round belly
That knew well the joys of a vegetable deli.
He was chubby and plump and in excellent health
And I crumbled before him in spite of myself.

With a high wheeping cry and a twist of his head
Soon gave us to know we had much we should dread.
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work
And I, frozen before Reggie, felt like a jerk.
And stretching before him his odd shap-ed toes
Reggie (the veggie) to the mother-ship rose

He scanned the whole world, to his team gave a whistle
To their fresh conquered homes they flew like the down on a thistle
But Reggie exclaimed as he flew out of sight,
"We are your new overlords, we conquered you tonight!"

- Randall Newcomb
16-Dec-1996
Carpe Cavy! (Seize the guinea pig!)

[Elisa Butler]

Bravo! Wonderful!

Must post this to the "normal" pig forum! I hope that's ok with you,
I'll keep your copywrite stuff!

Elisa

Post by Latin Wolf
http://home.earthlink.net/~latinwolf7/xmas112.html
Twas The Night Before Conquest
As Posted by Randall Newcomb
Subject: Twas the Night Before Conquest
Date: 1997/12/16
Newsgroups: alt.guinea.pig.conspiracy
"Twas the night before conquest when all through the house
Every cavy was stirring, though quiet as a mouse
The plutonium was stowed under the shavings with care
For the Galaxian Council soon would be there.
The humans were nestled all snug in their beds,
Unaware of the guinea pig inspired dread.
And mom in her kerchief and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a mid-solstice nap.
When out of the cages arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
The ammonia clouds rose up, and then came a flash.
Their biological weapons soon caused me to gasp
The glow of the mother-ship on the fresh-fallen snow,
Gave a nuclear luster to objects below.
When, what to my watering eyes should appear,
But Reggie (the veggie) in full combat gear
With an ancient old cavy, so lively and quick,
I knew what was happening. It was making me sick.
More rapid then eagles the onslaught it came
They whistled and wheeped and took control of my brain.
Now agoutis, and short-haired, and silky satins
Wavy rexes and shelties, Abyssinian assassins.
To the top of the cage, to the neighborhood mall
Now conquer the humans and send out the call!
As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly,
Our minds were no match, our brains would just fry.
Through phone lines and internet the great wheeping grew
We tried to resist - but what could we do?
And then with a rumble, I heard through the door
It was Reggie (the veggie) the most ancient of boars
As I drew back in fright and crouched close to the ground
Down the hallway the guinea pigs came with a bound
They were covered with fur from their heads to their feet
And, with parsley-scented breath, demanded something to eat.
I cast down a handful of Timothy Hay
And shook plastic bags to keep them at bay.
They drew back bewildered and for a moment did tarry.
Was this my escape from these overlords, hairy?
I got ready to run from the Galaxian glow
But there were so many, there was nowhere to go.
A stump of alfalfa Reggie held in his teeth,
The nuclear glow encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a red furry face and a little round belly
That knew well the joys of a vegetable deli.
He was chubby and plump and in excellent health
And I crumbled before him in spite of myself.
With a high wheeping cry and a twist of his head
Soon gave us to know we had much we should dread.
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work
And I, frozen before Reggie, felt like a jerk.
And stretching before him his odd shap-ed toes
Reggie (the veggie) to the mother-ship rose
He scanned the whole world, to his team gave a whistle
To their fresh conquered homes they flew like the down on a thistle
But Reggie exclaimed as he flew out of sight,
"We are your new overlords, we conquered you tonight!"
- Randall Newcomb
16-Dec-1996
Carpe Cavy! (Seize the guinea pig!)
--
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